Tyler Clippard

I'll be going to the Rockies game tomorrow. I'll go early to meet Tyler Clippard, the Nationals relief pitcher who appeared in the All Star game this year.
I plan on giving him a copy of my book, "More Turf Tales...Taking The Serious Out of Sports," since I wrote a story involving Clippard in the book.
My former teammate in the over 35-baseball league, Scott Blaise, who goes by Brian, did the drawings for the book including a very funny picture of Clippard.
My publisher, Linda Young, liked the story so much she thought it would be a good one to open the book with.
Just so you know, the book is fictional and the stories are just things that come out of my head. The stories are supposed to be funny so I hope Clippard has a good sense of humor. Oh, the reason I picked Clippard for the story? Well, I've always liked him ever since he beat the Mets in his Major League debut while with the Yankees a few years ago. So I thought I'd honor him with a story.
Here is the story...

RESCUED
Washington Nationals pitcher Tyler Clippard has been found alive and well, although shaken, after being lost for two days in the Coors Field forest behind the centerfield wall.
“I just went from our bullpen into the forest to retrieve a Carlos Gonzalez home run ball,” explained Clippard. “But I couldn’t find the ball and then I got lost and panicked.”
Rockies General Manager Dan O’Dowd said, “We always brief the opposing team that venturing away from the bullpen towards the trees and fountains in centerfield isn’t a wise idea. Unfortunately Clippard found out the hard way.”
Hiking expert Chuck Fitzgerald has sound advice for pitchers in the visiting bullpen at Coors Field.
“First of all, if you must go into the forest, go with a friend if possible. Also, let people know where you are going and bring a cell phone and flares. This could have helped Clippard. Bring plenty of water, a blanket and some food rations. A compass would also be helpful. It is very easy to become disoriented past the centerfield fence at Coors Field. While it is beautiful it can be dangerous. There have also been reports of mountain lions and grizzly bears roaming out there. Thank God nothing happened...this time.”
“I survived on berries and nachos discarded into the forest by litterbugs from the bleachers,” said Clippard. “It was a harrowing experience and I’ve learned my lesson.”
After being examined by team trainers, Clippard was deemed healthy and fit with no lingering side effects.
Nationals Manager Jim Riggleman said, “Clippard was missing for two days? Really? Is he ok? He is? Damn. The way he’s pitching too bad he couldn’t stay lost for the rest of the season.”

Anyway, that is the first of 148 Turf Tales in the book. If you would like to get a copy, the easiest way is to go to the publisher's website: www.maxq4u.com.
I didn't realize, until after the book was published, that there were 148 stories. If I'd have known that I would have come up with two more for an even 150.